The Weight of Waiting
Waiting is heavy. There is a weight to it. When you’re waiting for something joyful, like a party, the weight can fill you and make it seem like you are going to burst. When you are waiting for something needed, like a word from a much needed job you’ve applied for, or a word from a medical report, the weight can feel like it’s crushing your soul.
Many of us are waiting right now for “our version” of the world to return. Some of us are waiting to see store shelves fully stocked with paper products again. Some of us are waiting to be able to hug loved ones again. Some of us are waiting to travel. Some of us are waiting to open our businesses. Right now, in this season, we are waiting. We are waiting for the fear, the sadness, the anger, and the heaviness these emotions bring to pass away.
And it is heavy. The heaviness varies from person to person, house to house. For some, it may feel like they are treading water with a cinder-block attached to their foot, barely able to keep their head above the water, gasping for air. For others, like me, it may be a heaviness in heart. The heaviness, the weight of this season, is palpable and it generates odd and weighty thoughts.
“Will I ever be able to buy toilet paper again?”
“Will my business survive this?”
“Have I let my family down?”
“Am I really non-essential?”
“What day is it?”
“Am I Superman?”
If you know me, you know that last question is the heaviest one. But it is also the question that sobers me. That is the question that helps me find the answers to all other questions I have because that is the question that I can’t really ask myself.
How can this be?
There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Those that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings like eagles. They shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Basically, it says God renews and strengthens them and makes them like Him, the One who never grows weary or faints.
What does this have to do with my “Am I Superman” question and how does it help me answer all my other questions? When I’m waiting, treading water, or drowning, when I feel like I need to be rescued, I weight on the Lord. No, I didn’t misspell that. I put my weight on the Lord, I lean into Him. I let Him tell me who I am. And then I am reminded that EVERY TIME I have ever been treading water, I was actually being held up by the Water.
Somehow, I have survived every hardship I’ve ever faced. I’ve never not made it through to the other side - it’s actually all I know. I may not have always liked the storms I’ve found myself in, but they all eventually blew away. And I’ve learned something from each and every one of them. I have a feeling that you, too, are a storm survivor. We all are. So we have to believe that this storm will pass. But while we are waiting for it to pass, we don’t have to wait alone. We can weight on, we can lean on, we can trust in Something Greater than ourselves.
I don’t know if this helps you. I can’t pretend to know where you are in this storm. And I can’t tell you that relying on the Universe, the Source, God, or Spirit will help you find toilet paper or make your business open up any faster. But I can tell you that no matter what happens, no matter how damaging this storm seems to be, it will pass. That, and I can also tell you that you are strong enough to get through this. After all, you are Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Wolverine, She-ra, The Hulk or whoever else you want to be because there is a power in you greater than any storm.
Whatever the storm, don’t let the weight of waiting pull you under, let it hold you up.